just not used to it..T.T

2 days already... I msg him many times but he just replied once... told me that he was sick so can't reply and now better le.. don't worry... then suddenly i feel like wanna call him and may be talk a while... so i took up my phone and called.... at first it was connected! i was so happy but after a while then voicemail...T.T i told myself may be he is busying at church now so better don't disturb him... i'm just not used to it... i'm already used to have him to msg me everyday except when he was in ns... i'm just used to have him to concern me always... when i'm sad and keep on thinking too much then he will stay awake until late night to comfort me.. when i skip meal then he will scold me.. i'm just used to see his msg from the second i wake up until i sleep.. i still remember last week don't know what's wrong with me... i keep on think back my sad memory... then i so stupid until i asked him don't so concern me and don't so close with me..T.T because i don't want later me and him will change until like what me and my another friend like that...=( last time i also quite close with my another friend but now me and my friend changed already.. we seldom msg and seldom contact.. i felt hurt..T.T that's why now i'm worrying what will happen to me and him in the future.. i don't want we will change to like that!! sobs.. but now i understand already.. no one knows what wil happen in the future.. so now i must appreciate what i have but not worry... that's why now i so regret asked you don't so concern me and don't so close with me..=( so sorry!! i promise i won't ask you that again k?
now only i realize that i'm just not used to don't have you to msg me and concern me...T.T i will miss you when i can't contact you..=( so stupid i was when i asked you that!! sobs... sorry!!
you always stay my side support me when i'm having problem so now you sick until so serious already i hope i also can stay ur side support you..^^ though now i can't get to contact you but i will mentally support you de k? you must take care k? i got alot thing want tell you~ faster get well so that we can chat before you go back ns k?..^^