如果我变成回忆

recently i'm listening to this song and i love this song!! i like the meaning of this song.. we must appreciate what we have now and do not wait until everything becomes memories... i strongly agree this... everytime when i'm listening this song, it reminds me of my second sis.. i miss her so much.. last time when she was still staying with me, we always argue with each other.. because both of us also hot tempered.. i even tried b4 ran away from my house at midnight after quarrel with my sis.. but she is still my sis who i miss alot!!! haih.. i got 2 sis and 1 bro.. but my second sis is the closest to me among my siblings.. she is the one who take care of me when i was still a small baby.. last time my parents were busy working.. i still rmb when i was still a baby, still don't know say a single word, i keep on crying and of cause my sis don't know what i want as i don't know how to answer her.. she tried everything to make me stop crying but failed.. at last she gave up and just simply played a song(peng you by grasshopper) and i really stop crying!! lolx.. mayb because the beginning of this song got baby's voice.. hahaha..XD then when i was studying at primary school, got 1 time i came bc home with my both legs bleeding! coz i fell down during pj... then that time my sis still haven't own a car.. my parents haven't come back home yet and my house left a bicycle.. so no choice.. my sis ride bicycle and fetch me to the nearby clinic.. that time i was a super fatty!! my body size round like a ball!! haha.. and my sis thin like bamboo!! i really can't imagine how my sis was able to fetch me by riding a bicyle!! lolx.. then when teenager stage, when i was down, not happy and whole day didn't speak a single word, my sis and my bro in law will realize something happened and keep ask me what happen? who make me angry?? 'sat lun' izit?? lolx.. i will never tell my family anything happen to me outside.. so sure i will tell them nothing!! then they also won't ask me again but they will bring me go summit play pool, play dance machine, play daytona.... they just wanna cheer me up.. i really miss those moments we went out til late night and came in home quietly don't want let my parents know.. haha..XD and now i will appreciate what i have now... my parents, my frens, especially my ji muix... as i told yy and pn.. i don't know why i got a feeling i will be not able to spend time with my ji muix and hang out with them soon..T.T i feel like the time that i'm able to go here and there with my ji muix is becoming shorter and shorter... i know i'm silly..T.T but i just got this feeling..=( that's why now i'm trying my best to not skip any gathering and chance to meet up with them.. i will appreciate what i have now... 珍惜眼前人。。别等到一切都变成回忆。。

specially for u!!!..........^^

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR LENG LUI SHEAN!!!
MAY ALL UR WISHES COME TRUE....^^

23rd & 25th may...=)

hoho~~ i got few 'tunggakan' haven't post!! lolx...

start with 23rd may..... scholarship ceremony at my college.. as usual da ceremony was delayed... haha..XD suppose to be 9a.m start but they started around 10+a.m.. lolx.. here are some photos..^^

me & shean...^^

blackie & whitie... lolx

okok... turn the attention to 23rd may night.. haha... i went to pyramid with pei ni...^^ we went there to pre order NIC TEO's album.. kaka!! after that we went to sakae sushi to have our dinner... at first we thought after dinner we will go hang gai gai but by the time we finish our dinner is already 9p.m...!! so we decided to continue our 2nd round of food... ice monster... then we around 10p.m finish it and again....... 3rd round of food!! lolx... we went to station 1 for supper!! hahaha...XD

sakae sushi!!

half finish ice monster..XD

ss15 station 1...^^

okok... let's talk about 25 may..... i rebound my hair again... yes... i'm happy that my hair straight already!! hoho~~ but the problem is the auntie again cut my fringe til too short la..!..T.T i tak biasa..><.. feel like nerd nerd d!!..T.T

dunno how long it takes to grow back tis length??..=(

update~~

haha... it's kinda long time never update my blog... same reason la..... LAZY!! and got so many exams this few weeks..T.T last 2 weeks ago just finish my progress test 2 then friday ngam ngam finish my mock exam..! phew~~ finally can rest a while since my final exam is on 13 june.. keke=) well.. yesterday after i finish my mock exam then i went to pyramid with my college frens.. thx to jian hua who became our driver and fetch us there...^^ then we ate sushi king as our lunch and watch movie.. ohya.. thx to shi khai too for belanja us pop corns.. hehe!! night at the muzuem 2... it's a funny movie!! hahaha..XD at night everything in da muzuem will become alive!! dynosour... monkey... elephant... cowboy... then somemore got ROME army and suddenly cartoon character and the robot in star war also pop out in the movie.. haha..XD after movie then i have to go kumon work again!! sobs.. so tired..T.T but nvm la since i was already late to work.. kaka..! suppose 5p.m but i reach there ard 7.30p.m.. kakaka..XD tmr evening going pyramid again with pei ni..^^ wanna go popular pre order NIC TEO's album... wakakaz..! then sun bian go hang gai gai a while release stress... then wanna go cari makan too..^^ must find smth nice to eat.. keke..!! but dunno why got abit feel sad..=( becoz actually me and peini planned to ask more ppl out and go together de.. but most of them also not free.. haih.. i feel sad not because of they can't come out but feel like nowadays most of my frens also started busy with their studies d..T.T the chance we really get to meet each other is becoming smaller and smaller..T.T really miss those time we everyday also can meet each other at school.. sit down chit chat and tease each other!!! haha.. and everyone of us also doin the same hw... not like now everyone also doin different hw.. some busy with mountains of assignments.. some busy with school hw.. i mean those form6 school hw.. haha...XD i got the feeling of being alone again!!.. haih.. i really hate this feeling.. but what to do?? can't blame anyone la coz everyone also busy ma... includng me.. i understand de.. but everytime i just can't control my own feeling...T.T because i'm a person that easily get affected by my feeling?? may be..O.o keke..XD anything la... as what shean said.. HANG ON!! keke..^^

i'm not as tough as u think...T.T

yes.. i'm not as tough as u think... tue i quarrel with my dad... and this made me think back alot of my sad memories since last year..T.T i started to think that am i as tough as i thought?? i don't know... may be my friends' impression on me is..."yoke ling is a tough girl.. last year the big problem happened to her but she still able to keep everything in herself until the last min only broke down in front of her best friends.." yes.. before this i had the same thought as my friends.. but now i feel that i'm not as tough as u think.. i really feel tired..=( i don't want to think about anything anymore!! my brain need rest... may be abit of alcohol could help...T.T i don't want to be sedar diri..T.T my life since the day i was born until my primary school is just perfect.. i felt that i was so lucky as i have a happy family.. no worry on my health.. last time i was glad that i always have my second sis... she always be my side and support me.. if i'm not in good mood, without knowing that what actually happen on me, then she will just try to help me destress myself.. but now everything is different..=( i have to face everything by myself.. i need to find my way to destress myself.. when i need someone to help me, actually nobody knows that...T.T now only i realize the importance of siblings... haih.. but i know that my sis was forced to leave me.. she also don't hope that actually.. so after she left me, i told myself.. i must be tough from this moment... i can't let my mum and sis to worry about me... that's why after my sis left this home, i never drop a single tear before and try to show my tough face in front of my mum... until the day i broke down at school..T.T fine... after that i wipe off my tears and continue my life... i told myself that i can do it!! i'm tough!! but why god can't just pity me abit and set my life as simple as it could be?? muscle problem came again and even more serious than last time...T.T family's problem.. then relationships problem... yes.. i really want to be tough but how many times i need to tell myself that i'm tough then wipe off my tears and continue my life again?? i'm just a normal human being and i will feel tired too...T.T haih... just now i read shean's blog and actually she facing the same problem as me this whole week.. i left a msg in shean's cbox and hope could help her abit.. but i know that actually my support is not that good and not really could help her because i'm facing the same problem and this problem has been in my heart since last year.. just like a question and answer.. but i still couldn't find the answer for this question...T.T i really need someone who really understand me and support me.. but who could help me?? who will be the 'someone'?? i don't know..=( may be nobody could be the 'someone' except my second sis because only siblings willing to sacrifice their everything and able to spend all their time with u when u are down and need help.. now inside my heart got alot "i don't know"........=(

happy mother's day...^^

haha... this year mother's day only got me, my dad and my little nephew celebrate with my mum... becoz both my sis also not around... haih... but nvm la.. as long as they got heart then can already la.. keke..^^ luckily i got my salary for this month already... hehe.. so now i got money to celebrate with my mum.. i bought a cake for mum without letting her know.. lolx.. but got 'cun bo' anot then i don't know la... kakaka... may be my mum just pretend don't know..=p ops.. haven't tell i bought what cake.. it's mango lychee cake from bread basket..^^ my mum like this cake very much!! everytime we purposely went there just to eat the cake but they don't have..T.T so i decided to order it few days ago then today i go take only.. hehe!! funny la that day when i ordering the cake coz i accidentally let my mum saw the auntie there passed me the receipt.. ish...>< then my mum asked me wat i buy?? then i told my mum that the auntie offer me a part time job at there..^^ but actually they have alot of waiters already!! haha..>< i also planned to bring my mum go eat 'dim sum' this monday morning.. go 'lan hua yuan' eat.. that's why i said luckily i got my salary already.. haha..XD who asks me so pandai spend money?? actually it's my idea too..^^ nvm la.. as long as my mum happy then anything also no prob la..^^ without my mum i can't come to this world... and i can't experienced so many things.. even can't meet my 6 best sis and all my beloved friends.. keke!! though there are still some unhappy experiences in my life too...T.T but who didn't experience that before?? sure everyone got same experience as me except my health problem.. hehe but i'm still glad that my mum brought me to this world...^^
MI ar~~ though sometimes i really feel like u got abit 'cheong hei' but i know that u are care for me thats why u will be 'cheong hei'...XD and don't worry... after i come out work d sure i will jaga u back de...^^



with you.....
i no need to worry about my daily tasks...



with you.....
i no need to worry about my financial problems...XD



with you.....
i no need scared of any cheating as you'll protect me...



with you.....
i'm able to fill up myself with knowledge...



with you.....
i'm able to come to this world and do whatever that i like to...



WITHOUT you.....
there are no starting point and therefore millions of impossible in my life...



THX MUMMY!!! i can't give u anything special now but i know that the most valuable present that u hope to receive from me is i get good result and graduate from my tertiary study... keke..^^ don't worry.. i will try all my best to not disappoint u..... i love you mi~~~...^^
















the cake... paiseh... i 4got to take the photo
before my mum cut the cake...XD





















my little nephew~~ am i cute??...=p

HAPPY!!!!...^^

i was so happy just now!! when pn in facebook told me that "cf not goin kedah d" i terus go msn change my personal message...! hahaha..XD don't know why just feel super duper happy when i know that my sis is not moving further away from us...! keke... may b she is goin oversea which is even further.... but as pn said... oversea is better than kedah.. by the way, cf is not goin right now also la... 2 years later... keke!! so............ let's enjoy this 2 years sis!! wakakaz... this year cf can celebrate shean, pn, yy and my birthday together again!!! keke..^^ just feel happy and excited!! yipee~~